Golfing-in-Exile 3: Keeping Your Cool on the Fairway

Caddy shack losing it First flights

This is part of my Series on Golfing-in-Exile.

We'll pick up now from where we last let off. You will recall that in our previous installment you struck your tee shot amidst some seriously adverse circumstances and nevertheless managed to land it on the fairway. Of course you were using the vaunted GIE Rules for Hittting off the Tee. Sadly, the same cannot be said for your playing partners. So whereas you’ve kept your cool, the other guy in your golf cart has already started to come unwound. He’s still on the same phone call, starts to raise his voice a few decibels and you can tell it’s going to be a blow-out. A self-aware golfer-in-exile (GIE) like you expects all this however, and remains unruffled.

You walk up to your ball and you’ve got 150 to the pin. Ok, so in the old days when you were playing a lot you were a monster and would typically hit a pitching wedge here.  You begin to reach for said wedge but something stops you....

You suddenly remember that you are a GIE. You realize that you’re actually not 17 anymore, in fact you’re 40+. You also remember that you were using a crude, freak-show set of vintage irons back then, namely, First Flights: The Instrument. In those days a First Flight wedge weighed something like 10 pounds and could double as an 8 iron (or a tire iron for that matter).  Your hand moves slowly now towards the nice, modern 7 iron in your bag. You remove it as if in a trance, address the ball, cock the right knee, get some rhythm with a few waggles, and without any fanfare take it back nice and smooth and knock a weak fade just off the green onto the fringe. It wasn’t great, but you’re a chip and a putt away from par. Not bad, right?

Your playing partner has now become the Incredible Hulk and brutalizes his approach,  launching a low screamer over the green into no-man’s-land. He picks the phone back up off the fairway and continues to jaw with the CEO he is firing. You glance back and see the other two guys in your group riding all over the place like drunkards, still looking for their ball. Again, you’re a GIE now- so nothing fazes you.

See you shortly on the green....

For Part 4 of this Series, click here.

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